10 reasons to love my homeland

− excerpted and translated from 20 razones para amar a mi patria by Rafael

1. I don't have to worry about getting anywhere early; nothing whatsoever starts on time.
   
2. I don't have to worry about terrorism; no terrorist is interested in putting bombs in this country.
3. I don't have to suffer for my soccer team in the world cup, because they are never going to qualify for the world cup.
4. I don't have to hurry to pay my property taxes; the government always gives amnesty to the delinquents.
5. I don't have to worry about running red lights when I have 'money for cokes.' (La Gringa: 'money for cokes' is the Honduran euphemism for bribe)
6. I don't have to worry about buying original software; this is pirate paradise.
7. I don't need to go to a movie theater to watch a new movie; I only have to walk two blocks for a pirate to offer the complete line of new DVD releases.
8. I don't have to worry about taking a lot of luggage when I travel; some robber is always in charge of unburdening me.
9. I only need to walk 20 meters to the corner pulpería to taste the best beer in the world: Port Royal.
10. And if I die and go to hell, I don't have to worry about the heat; I live in San Pedro Sula.

And you, aren't you glad to be Honduran?

Rafael was pleased to allow me to translate his article for English readers and graciously gave me his permission to include more articles in the future. For more views in Spanish from Rafael in San Pedro Sula, Honduras, visit his No-Blog.