Today was my day to catch up on the newspapers that have been stacking up. I have a love/hate relationship with the newspaper.
On the one hand, I know I will just get depressed and/or upset reading them, especially when I read so many at one time. On the other hand, I always worry that I'll miss some important news.
On the one hand, since I'm blogging, I feel a duty to be aware of what is going on in Honduras. On the other hand, I get so frustrated that the articles often don't tell the whole story, don't name names, and it seems to me that the most obvious questions are never asked.
On the one hand, I read stories in almost every newspaper that would "knock your socks off." On the other hand, if I wrote about those stories, my readers might get as depressed and frustrated as I am and quit coming back.
That is a lot more hands than I have, but you get the idea.
I recently had an idea about how to make the newspapers more succinct and reduce the amount of paper and delivery costs. The front page, of course, normally includes photos of the most shocking murder or kidnap victim or devastating auto accident fatalities, but perhaps page two could include this checklist and probably reduce the newspaper size by 20 pages or so:
RNP (National Registry of Persons) cannot issue birth certificates or ID cards this week because:
[ ] Their equipment isn't working.
[ ] Their equipment is working but they don't have paper.
[ ] They have paper but they don't have ink.
[ ] They have paper and ink but they don't have the forms to fill out.
[ ] The employees are on strike.
[ ] All of the above.
No school today because:
[ ] teachers are on strike.
[ ] students are on strike.
[ ] we have a "cold front."
[ ] it's a holiday.
[ ] vacation.
The ex-mayor of [_____________] was accused of:
[ ] malversion of funds.
[ ] dereliction of duties.
[ ] abuse of authority.
[ ] use of false documents.
[ ] all of the above.
Found innocent of all charges was the former:
[ ] Mayor
[ ] President
[ ] Congressman
[ ] Judge
[ ] Attorney
[ ] Other government employee
A total of [___] persons were [ ]killed, [ ]maimed, [ ]injured in an auto accident with [ ]a bus, [ ]a truck, [ ]a taxi, [ ]all of the preceding.
The [ ]bus, [ ]truck, [ ]taxi driver:
[ ] was killed
[ ] ran away and cannot be identified.
[ ] was too drunk to run away.
[ ] said that his brakes failed.
A total of [___] persons were murdered yesterday by [ ]guns, [ ]knives, [ ]machetes.
The following sectors are on strike today:
[ ] Taxi drivers
[ ] Bus drivers
[ ] Students
[ ] Teachers
[ ] Doctors
[ ] Nurses
[ ] Garbage collectors
[ ] Government employees
A total of [______] million lempiras has been stolen/misused/lost in [_________] government agency to date this year.
The price of [_________] has risen [___]%.
The following problem will be solved in 3 months after the formation of a commission of the same old political insiders who have already screwed up the country:
[ ] Dengue
[ ] Employment
[ ] Poverty
[ ] Telephone service
[ ] Housing
[ ] Education
[ ] Corruption
[ ] Electric service
[ ] Government service
[ ] Teen pregnancy
[ ] Spousal abuse
[ ] Health care
[ ] Street vendors
[ ] Crime
[ ] Drugs
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'll believe it when I see it.