June 7, 2007

Unpaid political announcement

Mel Zelaya, Honduran presidentHonduran President Mel Zelaya
Photo: El Heraldo, Honduras

The following public announcement is brought to you by "Poder Cuidano" (Citizen Power).

Because everyone knows that the Honduran media can't be trusted because it (a) is under the control of powerful corporations, or (b) wants to destabilize the government of Honduras (take your pick), and,

Because it has come to our attention that bloggers have an untapped audience, and,

Because the damned gringos welcomed English-speaking residents of our humble country have a God-given right to hear our message, and,

Because it is in the best interests of the citizens of Honduras that our message of truth be given to all those readers,

We will be commandeering granting the esteemed Licenciada La Gringa the honor of lending us this space three times per week to make make sure that you know the real true facts:

We do not have a militaristic government in Honduras, it's just that....

  • The esteemed president is only exercising his right of free speech when he takes over the TV and radio stations (and turns off all other stations not broadcasting his speeches) whenever he wants to tell us something,
  • 60 companies thought to be involved in illegal phone trafficking have been raided by the national telephone company with the help of the police and/or military and all their property (computers, cash, employee's cell phones, etc.) was confiscated or destroyed in order to provide better health care and education to the children of Honduras, and,
  • The military took over the government-owned electric company on Monday in order to save the country from the malfeasance of the previous administration, and here is the chart to prove it.

We do not have gasoline rationing in Honduras. It is only a coincidence that....

  • 60 San Pedro Sula gas stations closed at various times for lack of fuel in May, and,
  • One La Ceiba gas station has been closed more days than it is open because it can't get any gasoline to sell, but,
  • If there is rationing, it is a plot of the transnational companies in collusion to destroy Honduras, and here is the chart to prove it.

We don't have electric rationing in Honduras; it is just a coincidence that....

  • The power goes off on Sunday at exactly 7 a.m. and returns at exactly 5 p.m., and,
  • You should be in bed sleeping anyway when the power goes off at exactly 10 p.m., 12 p.m., or 1 a.m., and,
  • Here is the chart to prove what a good job we are doing:

Moreover, as soon as we receive confirmation of those Swiss deposits finish the studies being performed, the US 1.2 billion given to our poor country by the suckers kind people from the world bank and others, we'll be buying a chicken dinner and a Hondutel cell phone (with 3 free minutes!) for every single Liberal Honduran citizen.

In conclusion, as shown unequivocally and humbly by the chart at left, anything good that happens in your life is the direct result of the hand of Mel Zelaya, and furthermore, anything bad was the result of powerful forces who want to crucify him and destroy Honduras.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcasting. God bless you.

Help, help! -- muffled screams from La Gringa.....
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