The disintegration of the family in Honduras
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These are happy kids with a mom and a dad
One of the Latino stereotypes that I believed when I came to Honduras was that that Latinos, in general, placed more value on "family" than some other groups of people. While it is true that many, many Hondurans love and protect and care for their children to the best of their abilities, it seems that every year there are more and more who discard them when the next woman or man comes along who catches their eyes.
In my first few weeks and months here in Honduras, it seemed that virtually every woman I met had a child, or more than one, and no husband. In some cases the father of the children was gone to the U.S. and was sending money to help support them, but in most cases the father was just not in the picture and had never been. I've met many adults who have never known a father, who now have children who have never known a father either.
A personal story that I can relate involves a 4-year old girl who was offered to us as a "regalo" (gift). The girl's father was gone to the U.S. and her mother was pregnant by a new boyfriend. The boyfriend said that he would take care of woman and his child but he didn't want another man's child, so she had to "get rid of la niña" (the girl).
This was all relayed to me as if it was a perfectly normal circumstance and an opportunity for the mother to better her life. After talking to several people about it, I found that it was, indeed, an everyday occurrence and not considered shocking at all.
The following article is reprinted with the permission of the author, who has many years experience with helping families and children in Honduras but who has asked to remain anonymous because of dealings with Honduran government officials and courts.
In Honduras, 50% of the population is 15 years old and younger (as of January 2006). The average woman in Honduras is only 15 years old when she gives birth to her first child. In 2006, 80% of all birth certificates issued did not name a father.
The reasons for this lack of family structure in Honduras include: large number of men (and increasingly women) leaving for the United States and Spain; high unemployment and underemployment; overall failing of the moral structure of the society in that there is no longer any stigma to having a child outside of marriage; lack of education; lack of a loving, supportive environment within the family which leads to young women having babies in order to have someone to love; macho attitude of wanting to have as many children as possible by as many women as possible.
Hondurans (in lower economic levels) tend to think of children as financial assets, rather than as liabilities. In the US and Europe, and among upper classes in Honduras, it is understood that having a child entails a level of financial cost (education, food, clothing, etc.). The poor tend to think in terms of a child as a financial retirement plan... the child will be expected to support the mother when she is too old to work.
Maquilas generally will only employ women from the age of 18 through age 30. At 30, women are considered too old, too slow, and are dismissed. So if a woman in Honduras has her first child when she is 15, by the time she "retires" her child will be ready to start working. Most women over 30 tend to sell tortillas on the streets or do other things from their homes rather than work in a company. They rely on their children to work and provide for them. This attitude leads women to want as many children as possible.
The consequences of the lack of family structure include child abuse. This abuse, especially sexual abuse, is the most common problem. Men who are not related to the children in the home feel free to use them sexually. Women are hesitant to file police reports or try to protect their children for fear of reprisals from the men, especially physical violence (now estimated to be common in more than 30% of all homes) and abandonment. Serial "marriages" are common with three or four men coming into the home over the years and fathering their "own" children. This leaves the other children at great risk of abandonment and abuse.
In addition, there exists a very weak legal system in Honduras, a lack of police in the communities, a high level of violence, few options for the courts to place abused children in safe environments, and pressure from the government to return children to their families so as to not present statistics to the international community that reflect the true situation of the children. Each time a child is removed from the family unit, the "count" goes up on the problem of children at social risk, and the "image" of Honduras is damaged.
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20 comments:
It exhausts me to read this. Very frustrating!
Keep your eye on the weather, by the way.
This is terrible and shocking. It's the consequence of machismo, the global economy, and poverty combined.
Sadly only a complete cultural revolution could change it. A political revolution would only replace the corrupt elite with a newly corrupt one.
How do we eliminate poverty? Education isn't doing it, because there's limited demand for educated/skilled workers, and rock bottom wages here.
Should workers be allowed to move to where their work is needed, instead of staying in places where their work is paid for with subsistence salaries?
It's immoral to have families split like this! But in the name of survival, there may be no other option for many women. That's so infuriating! They shouldn't be forced to continue in this.
If the economy is globalized, then the work force should be globalized. We should eliminate the restrictions on immigration. Otherwise, only rich nations benefit from globalization. Only the rich are allowed to immigrate.
Stories like this are not new, but they weren't as widespread in Honduras 50 years ago.
Yes, it is terrible. And, yes, a cultural evolution is needed, spurned by creating more economic opportunities for women of all ages, so they would not have to be forced to "retire" at 30 and have nothing but nultiple children as sort of a retirement insurance. But a macho corrupted government is not likely to lead the change, or even care. It seems inconcerned about providing economic opportunities (other than emigration or criminal activity) even for its male population.
And globalization, or that part of it that relies on cheap labor, does, at least in most manufacturing sectors (save for agriculture, which is location bound) does not want workers to immigrate to countries where their wages and othyer fair labor standards are legally required. It wanrs workers to stay in their low cost of living countries with weak worker right protection. This can be a way to lift up the workers in the thirld world from their bottom rung poverty, but only in countries where investors can count on protection from coruption and crime. Investment is not coming to Honduras due to corruption, retirees are rearely coming to Honduras due to lawlessness, so what is a Honduran male to do? He emigrates only to find that the opportunities in the developing world are not what they once were, since all work that could be outsourced is, or soon will be, and many more hands have to fight for agricultural, construction and other low level service opportunities (janitorial, restaurants etc.)
Hmmm... I dunno. My Grandma says that people in the world have forgotten shame because parents don't teach their children values anymore.
On the other hand I've never walked a mile in someone else's shoes and don't know the true feeling of poverty.
What pride is there in digging through a landfill for a meal rather than stealing it or begging for it?
And if someone is living in true poverty ... would it really matter?
Is there really that much of a choice for them?
Sometimes things are just because they are. And it makes no sense.
Either way, it's truly sad.
I have no wisdom to share here, but I'm nodding my head as I read. We are raising a 'regalo' child, although at the time he entered our family, we didn't know his mother was dumping him with us. By the time we knew she was gone for good, we loved him too much to want him to ever go back to the life he was leading with her!
He's been with us for 4.5 years now, since he was a year old, and the situation looks grim for us to officially adopt him, although we have been working on this.
not going to say that I have a clue about these issues BUT
birth rates have to go down, I made a quick check and 40% of Honduras population is below 19 years old.
I doubt that in any system that rewards higher skills over lower skills there is a way to eliminate poverty. There will always be elements that won't be able to achieve what the rest can.....
Also we are mammals, and mammals are territorial, any country/town/etc will resist incoming people from 'the outside'
for our countries (and at the risk of sounding stupid) a first step is getting rid of the military (and I know my culture probably put this on my head) but in most countries and specially in our LatinAmerican countries......the military is nothing else but a tool of the rulers to
a) spend money
b) perpetuate their privileges
Education IS a way out, but for it to work there has to be something AFTER the education as aaron said.....not much use of having a 4x4 if you dont have a gas station to refill it, you will still get stuck in the mud eventually
in a decidely idealistic way.....we are a bunch and (as a group) I think 'we' (not counting me) are used to hard work
all the agricultores can certainly grow something that we can exchange at a higher profit than the miserable margins we get on 'traditional products'
then again on this subject I don't have a clue and I can easily see an agricultor telling me that I am stupid because a,b&c factors that I didn't think of
Thanks for the post and the article. I think things are the same in Mexico, at least among poorer people.
My own opinion is that as long as the "wealthy" nations in the world (who got that way by raping countries like Honduras - United Fruit, etc)continue their policies of considering people from the "poor" countries as less than human, this kind of stuff will continue.
Even the wealthy in these poor countries treat their citizens like throw-aways.
It actually makes me sick. I don't know how it is that the world is this way, but it's the saddest thing. It made me cry to read those posts.
The first year I was in Chacala nine babies were born, one with a "sort of" father, who was living with another woman by whom he already had to children.
Things are changing here now. There are still single moms having babies, but abortions are more acceptable, and birth control too. Most families of younger women, say under 40, limit themselves to 3 children. The previous generation often has 6-8-or 10 or more kids.
Last winter a young woman, mother of five young children, walked across the border to the US 8 months pregnant, in order to have a child there. Here elderly mom is taking care of the other five kids.
This makes me really sad. My husband's parents abandoned him at birth and now that I know that this "getting rid of a child" thing is a common thing throughout Honduras, I wonder if that is what happened to my husband? How sad. I know who my father is but he is not in my life. My husband only knows his birth parents names. He doesn't know where they are, if they are alive or anything. No one in the family that raised him knows either. He recently found his blood uncle on his mother's side, but he doesn't have a clue where the parents are either. My husband also has brothers and sisters that he has never met.
How sad this blog was! It's just awful! :( How could a parent just "get rid" of their child?
Over the years, what I have seen is that this situation is very commonn among Central Americans, not only Hondurans, but Salvadoreans and Guatemalans as well. It is far less prevalent among Mexicans. I think that, in spite of emigration and everything else, Mexican families are more cohesive, in general. The marriage rate is much higher among Mexicans than among Central Americans. It has almost become the norm among Hondurans and Salvadoreans to be unmarried and become pregnant by the time they are 15. After that, a long line of men come into their lives, along with new children. I don't even live there, I live in Los Angeles Ca. but I have seen enough of this. It has become a pattern.
Unlike Mexico and other countries like Argentina or even Venezuela, most people do not even get married in Honduras and El Salvador. Only those above the middle class do so. I don't know enough Nicaraguans to evaluate the situation there, but do know that even in more advanced Costa Rica there are plenty of young women having multiple partners and children fathered by different men.
Perhaps it is also cultural since, traditionally, formal marriage was only for families who followed the established norms of Spanish society and these families were above the so called "popular classes". In addition, or because of this, unmarried couples living together and raising children were considered to be in de facto marriages. The difference is that those unions used to be like marriages and stable. That has changed and now there is not even that. In that sense, things have deteriorated.
Powerful and true post L.G.
As my wife comes from Honduras and a large family. You are correct that the "family bonds" are more word then deed among the men then the ladies. The women are indeed the strenht of the family's in Honduras.
The males use La Famalia as an excuse when they need help. But make no mistake the ladies pick up the slack and care for the family.
We send about $12,000 a year in goods a year to help my wifes family in Tegus....to the women. Then they doel it out to the family as needed. Make no mistake I have a couple of brothers-in law that are honest, they are the exception not the rule. Everything we sends goes through my brides mama (bless her tired old heart).
Rocky
I actually did the copy editing on this article prior to it being published initially. I remember as I read/edited it, I had a knot in my stomach. That the author feels the need to maintain anonymity is very telling, unfortunately.
Just stumbled on your blog... wish I had found it before spending about 6 weeks in Honduras a few years ago (mostly in Copan)... I had a wonderful time but ran into the situation you note on many many occasions. So much for the romanticization of other cultures.... I never warmed up to the Honduran culture and I certainly tried. I found the same situation in Nicaragua (maybe worse) but I fell in love with the people there.... who knows?
PS The role of the Catholic church regarding birth control and divorce plays a role here also.
I enjoyed the comments, everyone. Although I read them at the time, somehow I missed responding as they occurred -- maybe it was a hurricane or something? ;-)
I wish I had some brilliant suggestion but I don't. There are so many interrelated problems that it all seems overwhelming and no one suffers more from this than the children who will go on to do what their parents did.
most women over 30 sell tortillas? WTF! That isnt so, and im not defending the atrocities that are commited here but its my opinion that the article is a bit exagerated for dramatic purposes...
The exact quote was "Most women over 30 tend to sell tortillas on the streets *OR* do other things from their homes rather than work in a company."
The article was referring to women of the lower socioeconomic class and I think also referring to those who lose their jobs when they reach a certain age, like in the maquilas or other businesses who have this practice. Of course, there are educated women who work for companies or have their own businesses or work in family businesses.
I don't think the article is exaggerated. I think the author is exposed to a lot of the things that are swept under the rug because people don't want to admit such things go on -- the sexual and physical abuse of children in the INHFA homes.
I'd have to say that many women who aren't very well educated don't work at all. I'm not saying that is a good or bad thing and I know their options are very limited.
Speaking of selling tortillas....who sells tortillas on the streets in La Ceiba? Back before I started making my own, I always thought that it was so weird that I didn't see them for sale anywhere except the grocery stores. I've seen the markets in SPS and Tegus where they sell tortillas and read about ladies selling tortillas on the streets everywhere in Mexico. Why not La Ceiba?
Ceibeños don't like tortillas very much, we prefer "guineos" (bananas) or "platanos" (plaintains). I guess that's just because corn is a tad harder to get here than in the central mountains.
Huh? I think that is a bit of a generalization. Maybe Ceibeños eat more guineos because they are more readily available but they eat lots of tortillas, too, and the wheat and corn flours are available at every grocery store and pulperia.
Hi,this is sadly but thats hapen everywhere in big countries look like Europe USA but their trade money or Drogas .
Thats is amazing we loose the moral values and love for God. Those fathers have to be responsable,human I dont have father neither.but I have mother forever..................
At the risk of sounding like a prude, I have to agree that the lack of moral values everywhere is having a real detrimental affect on society.
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