There is no such thing!

Obviously a trick photo as there is NO SUCH THING!

This is one of my and El Jefe's pet peeves. Often if you ask about something in a store and they don’t have it, the clerks won't tell you, "Sorry. We don't sell that size or brand or color or whatever" or anything remotely like that. They will tell you that there is no such thing, that you are wrong, that they know what is available in the entire universe, that they have talked to the distributor, and the thing simply doesn't exist, never has, never will. In other words, you are stupid for even asking.

Plumber’s putty - doesn’t exist.
Size 9 sewing machine needles - no such thing.
Ceramic tile adhesive - nope.
10-watt sewing machine light bulb - they only come in 7-watt.

El Jefe recently bought some toilet paper. We like Cottonelle and it is sold here. The import stores will often carry the double or triple rolls which are more convenient both for storage when stocking up and for not having to change the roll so often. The grocery stores have on occasion sold the double rolls, though I've never seen the triple rolls at the grocery store.

El Jefe asked a clerk in SuperMega if they had double or triple rolls. She instantly said there is no such thing. He said, "Yes, there is." She said, "No, you are wrong." He insisted again that there is such a thing and said that we buy the double or triple rolls at Fiesta all the time. He mentioned that we had even bought double rolls in that store. "Impossible. We have never sold them and I've talked to the distributor and there is no such thing." She said, “You must be thinking of something else." As an added challenge, she dared El Jefe to buy it and bring it to show her.

Hah! By that time, El Jefe was so annoyed with her ignorance and inability to accept the fact that she just might not know everything in the universe, he made a special trip to Fiesta just to show her. Of course − wouldn't you know it? − Fiesta was out of double rolls as well.

Why is it so hard to just simply say “No, we don't sell that” or even − I know this is impossible to hope for − “I didn't know there was such a thing but I'll check into it”. Even more far fetched would be “I'll be happy to order that for you and call you when it comes in.” I gave up on that many years ago. I have heard those sweet words regarding some high ticket items, but almost never have seen any follow up on them.

El Jefe once even retorted, “Why are you asking for my phone number? You know you aren’t going to call me, don’t you? Don’t waste my time.” After her initial shock, the girl started giggling because she knew, too, that she had no intention of ever calling him.

If a store don’t sell something, they don’t sell it. I can and do accept that. I know that it isn't easy to import things to Honduras. I can understand that there might not be a market for the things that I’m looking for − though I have to believe, based on expansions of the two largest import stores in the past couple of years that there is a market here in La Ceiba for many imported products.

BUT, why clerks feel the need to convince the customers that the thing we want doesn’t exist, I have no idea.

Any ideas on this one?

Another lizard and one saved from the stew pot

Can you see the lizard?

Chloe was sniffing, whining, and running circles around the chicken coop the other day. My first thought was a snake or opossum, though opossums and the various other related animals are usually out at night. From the upstairs terraza, I was able to spot this lizard hanging on to an elephant ear stem high above Chloe's head. I don't know what kind it is, but if anyone does, I could give a better title to my article.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Speaking of lizards, we protected our environment again the other day. A guy was throwing rocks up into the large tree in the vacant lot next door. I said "Stop him!" to El Jefe, since the only reason anyone throws rocks up into a tree around here is to knock down an iguana for the stew pot.

El Jefe called out, "What are you doing?" The guy slyly said that there was a pichete in the tree. Pichete is the local name for less valued lizards which are considered pests (not by us).

"Pichete?", asked El Jefe, knowingly. He says that no one would eat a pichete.

"Well.... an iguana" said the guy.

El Jefe told him to leave the iguana alone, that we try to protect them here and the naturaleza (environment). The guy gave him a dirty look and went back to his work 'cleaning' the lot (read: macheteing every living thing down to the soil level to make it uninhabitable for any form of wildlife.)

He probably thought we were only saving the iguana for our own stew pot.

Good cookies

Pretty Florentinas

It takes a lot to impress me with store-bought cookies.

Florentina cookies are really good. These 'grown up' cookies are made in Mexico and cost L.31.53 (US $1.67) for 12 cookies* here in La Ceiba. First of all, I was impressed with the elegant look and lovely golden color. Second, they aren't too sweet. Third, the texture is light and flaky. These are strawberry filled. I wish they had an apricot or pineapple filled because I think I would like that even better. La Gringa tip: They taste even better if you refrigerate them first.

I'm sharing this find with you expats, but if the store is out of stock the next time I shop because of La Ceiba expats, I'll have to reconsider my generosity in the future. Leave some for me! ;-D

I'm eating one right now. Mmmm-mmm good.

Warning: Lean back away from your keyboard while you eat these cookies.


* On my last shopping trip to SuperMega, I discovered that it is cheaper to buy three small packages of four cookies each than it is to buy the large package of a dozen cookies. Strange, huh? This is not a rare occurrence. Never assume that it is more economical to buy a larger package than an equivalent amount of small ones. It often isn't.