May 9, 2008

Feelin' better

After a couple of days of intense worry − readers know how good at that I am − I am feeling more calm about the robbery. The first night, I didn't go to sleep until the sun came up and I felt safe. The next night, I tried to stay up but didn't make it past 2 a.m. The third night I took a mild sleeping pill and slept like a baby.

Sorry to be so cryptic in my last post. I drafted that article one night and set it up for posting in the morning. In the morning, I changed my mind and was going to delete it, but it was too late.

For obvious reasons, I can't write about the details of what happened. It may not be so obvious to some, though, so I'll just say that writing about any vulnerabilities that we may have or may have had, or what was stolen or may have been replaced (thus, available for theft again!) is just not a good idea. People talk, and they talk in front of other people, and then those people like to show how in-the-know they are with their friends. And so it goes.

For a few seconds, I even thought about the possibility of hiring a guard. Only for a few seconds though, because then I thought about the number of times that I've heard or read that the guard was "asleep" or "drunk" and therefore can't be responsible for what occurred. Even if the guard was well meaning, they could make a comment about how rich the patron is or about something they just bought or some security weakness. People love to gossip about the people that they work for. I know because I've heard tons of gossip about other people from people who have worked for us.

In the past when we've had scary situations, I always thought I would feel better if there was at least another person in the house when El Jefe is gone, someone to be there when we go to town or go out at night. Most criminals would much rather accost an empty house. But then I thought about the number of times robbery victims have told me that they are positive that their maid had something to do with a robbery, that the thieves knew right where to find something or that a door or gate was mysteriously left unlocked one night. And I have my own experiences which proves to me that we can't trust anyone.

We have a good guard dog but there are a few people who could enter the property without her making a fuss. El Jefe thinks that those people would not be suspects. After Nora, I think that we are foolish to trust anyone. The only people we can rely on are ourselves.

Trying to look at the bright side (of a robbery?!), I am very grateful that I wasn't or we weren't confronted in person and even more grateful that our dogs weren't harmed. Poisoning the guard dog is often the first step that a robber takes. Also, I can say that nothing of sentimental value was taken this time. We'll be looking into some of the security measures that readers mentioned, too.

I'm just trying to stay busy and keep my mind busy especially so that I don't dwell on it. I have a tendency toward wallowing. I started thinking about my neighbors and friends who have been robbed, many with much worse experiences than this latest one of ours (yes, I haven't told you everything we've had worse happen) and realized that we are lucky that it wasn't more serious. Joyce wrote in Living in Potrerillos that people have a near 100% chance of being robbed in Panamá and I think that must be true in Honduras, too.

I truly appreciate all the reader's comments − it's amazing the power you all have to make a difference in the way that I feel! I'm trying to stay strong like so many suggested. Thank you, dear readers, especially those who offered to come and beat up the bad guys! ;-)

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